Let’s be real, texting in the modern dating world feels like walking through a minefield in high heels. One wrong step, and BOOM! You’ve scared off Mr. Maybe before he even had a chance to prove if he was worth your time. And as a widow stepping back into the dating scene? It’s a whole new level of terrifying.
But fear not! I’ve seen it all, and I’m here to help you avoid the texting pitfalls that can make you look, well… a little too eager. So, grab a coffee (or a glass of wine, no judgment here), and let’s talk about the 11 texting mistakes that scream ‘desperate’, and what to do instead.
1. The “Good Morning” Overload
Sending a “good morning” text every. single. day. before he’s even responded to the last one? Girl, he’s not your husband (yet). Save the daily check-ins for your best friend or your dog.
What to do instead: Let him initiate sometimes! If he’s interested, he’ll reach out. If he’s not, no amount of sun emojis will change his mind.
2. The Double (or Triple… or Quadruple) Text
If he doesn’t answer right away, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, send another text. Or worse, a series of “?” texts like a desperate telemarketer.
What to do instead: Take a breath. Put your phone down. Distract yourself. If he’s interested, he’ll get back to you. If he’s not… well, you just saved yourself some time.
3. The “Hey… Hey… Are You There?” Routine
If you sound like you’re trying to wake up a coma patient, it’s time to stop. He saw your message. He’s either busy or uninterested. Either way, pestering won’t help.
What to do instead: If he’s consistently MIA, he’s showing you who he is. Believe him.
4. Writing a Novel
You’re crafting a message worthy of a Pulitzer Prize, and he replies with “lol.” Sound familiar? Long-winded texts scream too much, too soon.
What to do instead: Keep your messages short, sweet, and leave some mystery. Think “less is more.”
5. The Emotional Dump
Telling your entire life story, including your grief journey, over text before you’ve even had coffee together? Whoa, slow down.
What to do instead: Keep deeper conversations for in-person. Texting is for fun, light connections, not full-blown therapy sessions.
6. The “I Noticed You Were Online” Message
“Hey, I saw you were online but didn’t text back. Everything okay?” Um, stalker vibes much?
What to do instead: Never, ever comment on his activity unless you’re trying to chase him straight into the arms of another woman.
7. The Instant Response
Dropping everything the second he texts back makes you look like you’re just sitting there… waiting.
What to do instead: Delay your response sometimes! Show him you have a life. He’ll respect you more for it.
8. The “We Should Hang Out” Desperation Plea
If he hasn’t suggested meeting up, and you’re the only one pushing for plans, that’s a red flag.
What to do instead: If he wants to see you, he will make it happen. Your time is valuable, don’t waste it on someone who isn’t making an effort.
9. The Emoji Explosion
There’s a fine line between fun and frantic. Sending 17 heart emojis before date two? It’s a bit much.
What to do instead: Keep it classy. A well-placed wink is way more effective than an avalanche of sparkles and hearts.
10. The Passive-Aggressive Guilt Trip
“Oh, I guess you’re too busy for me…” Nothing dries up attraction faster than a guilt trip via text.
What to do instead: If he’s not making time, you make time for someone who will. Simple as that.
11. The Over-Apologizing Syndrome
Constantly saying “sorry” for taking too long to reply, for asking a question, for breathing? Nope, not cute.
What to do instead: Confidence is attractive! Own your words, your time, and your worth.
Final Thoughts
Texting should be fun, effortless, and exciting, not a stress-inducing guessing game. If a guy is into you, he’ll make the effort, and if he’s not… well, better to know now than later. Confidence is key, and playing it cool isn’t about manipulation, it’s about self-respect.
So tell me, what’s the worst texting mistake you’ve ever made? Drop it in the comments, and let’s have a laugh about it together!