Hello, fabulous widows! So, you’ve decided to dip your toes back into the dating pool? First, bravo! Whether it’s been a while since you last flirted or you’ve already swiped right on every eligible bachelor in your zip code, welcome to the wild, wacky world of modern romance. Let’s laugh a little, learn a lot, and dive into the do’s and don’ts of dating as a widow.
1. DO embrace your awesomeness.
You’re amazing, period. Whether you’ve got kids, a career, a thriving book club obsession, or the best lasagna recipe in town, own it. You’re not “damaged goods.” You’re a seasoned queen with wisdom, stories, and a killer smile. Confidence is your best accessory, better than even those cute ankle boots.
2. DON’T compare everyone to your late spouse.
Let’s address the ghost in the room (pun intended). Your late partner was unique, and so is anyone you’re meeting now. Comparing them isn’t fair to anyone, especially you. Remember, you’re not replacing anyone; you’re just adding a new chapter to your story.
3. DO try new things.
Dating has changed. Did you know people are meeting over apps now? Yeah, apps. Like pizza delivery, but for people. Give it a try, just don’t expect Prince Charming to slide into your DMs on day one. Keep an open mind, whether it’s trying online dating, speed dating, or even a singles yoga class (downward dog, anyone?).
4. DON’T overshare on the first date.
Yes, you’ve lived a full life with joys and heartaches, but your first date doesn’t need your entire life story. Keep it light and fun! Save the detailed tales of your late husband’s stamp collection for date three, or never.
5. DO laugh at yourself.
Modern dating is ridiculous, and sometimes you’ll feel like a fish out of water. Embrace it! Awkward texts? Laugh. Weird profile photos? Share them with your friends. A bad date? Collect the funny story for your memoir. Life’s too short not to giggle.
6. DON’T settle.
Just because someone shows interest doesn’t mean they’re your forever person. If you’re not feeling it, politely move on. You’ve already been in a committed relationship, you know what love should feel like. Don’t compromise your standards.
7. DO take it slow.
It’s not a race. There’s no finish line where someone hands you a trophy for “Fastest Widow to Repartner.” Enjoy the journey, meet new people, and savor the butterflies. Sometimes the slow burn romances are the sweetest.
8. DON’T feel guilty.
This one’s important, so read it twice. Your late spouse would want you to be happy, not stuck in grief forever. Dating doesn’t mean you loved them any less. You’re allowed to love again, and guilt-free.
9. DO involve your support circle.
Your friends and family want to see you happy. Let them cheer you on, give advice, or even set you up. (Just be cautious of Aunt Mildred’s matchmaking, it’s always the “nice” guy who still lives with his mom.)
10. DON’T forget your boundaries.
You’re the boss of your love life, period. If a date crosses a line or you’re just not comfortable, it’s okay to say no. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or a second date if you’re not feeling it.
11. DO celebrate the little wins.
Got through your first date without spilling wine? High five! Made it through an awkward conversation about your widowhood? Gold star! Celebrate these victories because dating as a widow is brave, bold, and beautiful.
12. DON’T lose sight of yourself.
You’re more than someone’s wife, girlfriend, or date. You’re YOU. Keep pursuing your hobbies, passions, and dreams. The right partner will love you for who you are, quirks and all.
Final Thoughts
Dating after loss can feel like stepping into a rom-com where you’re not sure of the script, but it’s also a chance to rediscover yourself. Laugh through the awkward moments, cherish the exciting ones, and remember, you’ve got this.
So, lovely widow warriors, go forth and swipe, smile, and smooch (when you’re ready). Life is short, love is sweet, and you deserve every bit of happiness coming your way.