Dating as a widow is a special kind of circus. You’re out there, trying to find love (or at least a dinner date who won’t bore you to tears), but there’s this tiny complication, you’ve been married before. And let’s be honest, that fact alone can send some men running like they just saw their ex at Costco.
So, to save you from the horror of an awkward silence followed by a “Well, this was nice…” text (that never leads to a second date), here are 12 things you should absolutely, 100%, NEVER say on a first date.
1. “So, my late husband used to…”
Unless your date specifically asks, leave your dearly departed out of the conversation. This isn’t a seance.
2. “Are you okay with dating someone who still talks to her dead husband?”
Even if you do have full-blown conversations with his framed photo, your date doesn’t need to know this just yet.
3. “I still wear my wedding ring sometimes.”
Which is fine, but saying this too soon makes him feel like a guest star in your personal drama series.
4. “I’m only here because my friends forced me to get back out there.”
Nothing screams “desperate and uninterested” like making him feel like a human participation trophy.
5. “I hope you’re not expecting sex anytime soon.”
Boundaries are important, but maybe don’t say this while he’s mid-sip of his overpriced craft beer.
6. “I’m just looking for someone to fill the void.”
Yikes. No one wants to be a stand-in.
7. “Do you mind if I compare you to my late husband?”
Men love competition, just not when it’s against someone they literally cannot beat.
8. “My kids will always come first.”
This is obviously true, but save this for when things get serious. No one wants to feel like they’re starting in last place.
9. “I just need to get remarried to feel complete.”
Girl, no. You are already complete. Say it with me: I am enough.
10. “I hate dating apps, but here we are.”
If you’re going to be here, at least pretend to enjoy it. Otherwise, why bother?
11. “My last date was a disaster.”
He’s not your therapist. He’s just trying to enjoy his burger.
12. “Do you think we’ll end up together?”
Too soon. Waaaay too soon.
So… What Should You Say?
Instead of scaring your date off with these widowhood landmines, keep it light, fun, and flirty. If you need help navigating the dating scene after loss (without losing your mind), check out The Widow’s Guide to Dating Again. This isn’t your grandma’s dating advice, this is real, practical, and hilariously honest wisdom that will help you feel confident, comfortable, and actually enjoy dating again.
Because guess what? You deserve to have fun. You deserve to find love again (or at least a man who won’t ghost you after the first date).
So tell me, what’s the worst thing you’ve ever said on a first date? Drop it in the comments below. Let’s laugh (and cringe) together!