So, you’ve decided to give online dating a shot. Good for you! But let’s be honest, dating apps can feel like a wild jungle full of red flags waving at you like those inflatable tube men at car dealerships. And as a widow, you’re not just looking for a fling, you want something real, something worthy of your time.
But beware! Not all profiles are created equal. Some people are out there playing games, and you, my friend, are not here for that nonsense. So before you match with Mr. “Too Good to Be True,” let’s break down the eight biggest red flags you need to watch out for.
1. The Mysterious Profile – No Pics, No Info, No Thanks!
If his profile is emptier than your fridge on grocery day, run. A blank bio and no pictures usually mean one of two things: he’s hiding something, or he’s too lazy to put in effort. Either way, that’s a hard pass.
Red Flag Alert: If his only pic is a blurry car selfie or worse, just his abs, he’s likely not looking for something serious.
What to Do Instead:
Message: “Hey, I love a good mystery novel, but I don’t date them. Care to share a little about yourself?” If he dodges, swipe left.
2. The “Hey Beautiful” Copy-Paster
If his first message sounds like something he’s sent to 27 other women that day, don’t be flattered, be cautious. “Hey, gorgeous” might feel nice, but meaningful connections don’t start with lazy compliments.
Red Flag Alert: If every message feels like a Hallmark card with no real questions about you, he’s probably just fishing for attention.
What to Do Instead:
Respond with, “Hey Handsome! Oh wait, I meant ‘Hey Random Stranger I Know Nothing About.’ Your move.”
3. The Love-Bomber – “I’ve Never Met Anyone Like You!” (After 2 Messages)
You just matched, and suddenly he’s talking about fate, soulmates, and planning vacations together? Whoa there, buddy. Love-bombers shower you with affection fast, too fast, to pull you in before their real personality emerges.
Red Flag Alert: If he’s already talking about your future wedding before he even knows your middle name, it’s manipulation, not romance.
What to Do Instead:
Set boundaries early. If he freaks out when you slow things down, you just dodged a bullet.
4. The Vanishing Act – Poof! He’s Gone!
One minute, he’s texting you like you’re the last woman on Earth. The next? Crickets. No explanation, no goodbye, just gone. This is the classic “ghoster,” and trust me, you don’t need that stress in your life.
Red Flag Alert: If he disappears and reappears like a part-time magician, he’s either juggling multiple women or emotionally unavailable.
What to Do Instead:
Move on. Ain’t nobody got time for Casper the Not-So-Friendly Ghost.
5. The Eternal Texter – All Talk, No Action
Messaging is great, but at some point, you need to actually meet! If he keeps coming up with excuses and never suggests a real date, he’s either married, scared, or just looking for an ego boost.
Red Flag Alert: If you’ve been chatting for weeks and he still won’t commit to a coffee date, he’s wasting your time.
What to Do Instead:
Call him out: “Are we ever meeting, or should I just name my phone ‘Relationship’ so I can say I’m in one?”
6. The Sob Story Specialist – Pity Party Incoming
We all have struggles, but if he’s unloading all his baggage before you even know his last name, be careful. These guys are either emotionally draining or setting you up to be their therapist.
Red Flag Alert: If he’s already asking for help, money, or a place to crash… girl, block and delete.
What to Do Instead:
If he’s constantly complaining about life but does nothing to change it, let him be someone else’s problem.
7. The Ex-Talker – Still Not Over Her
If his profile says “recently divorced” and his texts are filled with rants about his ex, you’re not his date, you’re his therapist.
Red Flag Alert: If he brings up his ex more than he asks about you, he’s not ready to move on.
What to Do Instead:
Politely say, “Sounds like you still have some healing to do. Hope you find peace, good luck!” Then swipe away.
8. The “Too Perfect to Be Real” Guy
He’s rich, handsome, successful, single, and somehow on a dating app looking for love? Hmm. If his profile sounds like a romance novel character, be suspicious. Scammers prey on widows by pretending to be the perfect catch before eventually asking for money.
Red Flag Alert: If he’s always traveling, “working overseas,” or avoids video calls, he’s likely a scammer.
What to Do Instead:
Reverse image search his profile pics. If they show up on multiple accounts, it’s a scam. Report and block.
Final Thoughts – Are You Ready to Swipe Smarter?
Dating after loss is hard enough without running into these red flags. The good news? Now that you know what to look for, you can navigate the dating jungle like a pro. Remember, you are strong, smart, and worthy of someone amazing, don’t settle for less!