Ladies, let’s talk. You finally worked up the nerve to dip your perfectly manicured toe back into the dating pool, only to find yourself drowning in a sea of smooth-talking charmers who vanish faster than your Wi-Fi signal during a thunderstorm. Sound familiar?
If you’re a widowed woman re-entering the dating world, the struggle is real. But here’s the good news: it’s not you, it’s them. Well, mostly them.
The bad news? There are some sneaky habits that might be making you a magnet for commitment-phobic Casanovas. But don’t worry, by the time you finish this post, you’ll have the wisdom (and one amazing tool) to turn things around.
Let’s dive into the eight reasons you keep attracting players, and, more importantly, how to stop.
1. You Mistake Confidence for Compatibility
Players have one thing in spades: confidence. They know exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to make you feel like the only woman in the world.
The Fix: Look beyond the charm. Is he actually listening to you? Does he ask thoughtful questions, or just perform a TED Talk about himself? If he’s all talk and no depth, you might be dealing with a professional player.
2. You Ignore the Red Flags Because You’re Excited
He texts you only at night. He avoids talking about the future. He says he “hates labels.” Girl, these are not quirks; they’re neon warning signs flashing RUN.
The Fix: Set standards and stick to them. The right man will meet your standards without making you feel like you’re asking for the moon.
3. You Don’t Have a Clear Dating Strategy
Dating without a strategy is like grocery shopping while hungry, you end up grabbing things that look good in the moment but leave you with regrets later.
The Fix: Use the Widow’s Guide to Smart Dating, a digital roadmap designed specifically for widowed women re-entering the dating world. It helps you spot players before they waste your time and teaches you how to attract the high-quality man you actually deserve.
4. You Lead with Your Nurturing Side
As a widow, you’re used to being a caretaker. Players love this because it means you’ll give without expecting much in return. And that, my dear, is how they win.
The Fix: Flip the script. Instead of taking care of him, ask yourself: What is he doing to take care of me?
5. You Haven’t Rebuilt Your Confidence Yet
Players can smell insecurity like a shark smells blood. If you’re still unsure of your worth, they’ll swoop in with just enough flattery to keep you hooked, but never enough commitment to make it real.
The Fix: Work on you. Confidence is the best player-repellent. Need a boost? The Widow’s Guide to Smart Dating includes exercises to help you reclaim your power and attract the right kind of man.
6. You’re Too Nice (Yes, That’s a Thing!)
Nice is great. But too nice? That’s a problem. Players rely on you not wanting to seem “mean” when you call them out.
The Fix: Be direct. If he disappears for three days and comes back with “Hey, beautiful,” respond with, “Oh, I assumed you lost your phone… and your common sense.”
7. You Confuse Chemistry with Connection
That butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling? That’s not love, sis. That’s just your body reacting to unpredictability.
The Fix: Focus on emotional security over excitement. Real relationships feel safe, not like an episode of Survivor where you’re wondering when you’ll get voted off the island.
8. You Haven’t Learned to Say No
Players thrive on women who are afraid to say no. Because the moment you set a boundary, they poof, vanish like a bad magic trick.
The Fix: Try this: The next time a guy tries to fast-track intimacy or keep things vague, say, “I’m looking for something serious. If that’s not you, no hard feelings.” Watch how fast the players disqualify themselves.
Ready to Attract the Right Man?
Look, dating after loss is hard enough without having to weed through a lineup of emotionally unavailable charmers. But you can take control of your dating life, without wasting time on guys who don’t deserve you.
That’s why I highly recommend The Widow’s Guide to Smart Dating. It’s packed with expert advice, confidence-boosting exercises, and proven strategies to help you attract a man who’s actually worth your time.