So, you’ve decided to dip your toe back into the dating pool after losing your partner. First of all, hats off to you! Dating as a widowed woman isn’t just challenging, it’s like signing up for a reality TV show where the rules keep changing, and no one told you that ghosting isn’t about actual ghosts.
If you’re feeling like the dating world has gone from romance novels to full-blown horror stories, you’re not wrong. There are more red flags than a bullfighting arena, and trust me, you do not want to be the matador. That’s why I’m here to help you navigate the madness and avoid the dating trends that can leave you feeling drained, confused, or questioning humanity as a whole.
Let’s break down the nine most toxic dating trends that you NEED to watch out for, because forewarned is forearmed, my dear.
1. Breadcrumbing – When He Feeds You Crumbs, Not a Meal
Ever met a guy who texts just enough to keep you interested but never actually makes plans? Congratulations, you’ve been breadcrumbed! These men will drop tiny morsels of attention (a random “Hey you” at 11:47 PM) but will never commit to an actual date. If you wanted to be fed scraps, you’d get a pet bird. Next!
2. Zombie-ing – When Ghosts Come Back to Life
Just when you thought he vanished into the abyss forever, he resurrects himself with a casual, “Hey, stranger.” Oh no, sir, you don’t get to ghost and then rise from the dead like you’re auditioning for The Walking Dead. Block. Delete. Move on.
3. Benching – When You’re Just a Backup Player
Benching is when someone keeps you around “just in case” things don’t work out with their main prospect. You’re good enough to chat with, but not good enough to take center stage. Do yourself a favor and bench HIM instead, indefinitely.
4. Love Bombing – When It’s Too Good to Be True
If he’s showering you with compliments, planning your future together, and calling you his soulmate within two weeks, run. Love bombing is manipulation disguised as affection. Real love grows over time, not overnight like instant ramen.
5. Pocketing – When You’re His Best-Kept Secret
If you’ve been dating for months and haven’t met a single friend or family member, congrats! You’ve been pocketed. It’s like you exist in a secret folder on his phone that no one else is allowed to see. If he won’t introduce you, he doesn’t deserve you.
6. Cushioning – When You’re His Emotional Airbag
He flirts with others, but keeps you close just in case those other prospects don’t work out. Basically, he’s using you as emotional bubble wrap for when his real relationships crash. You’re a queen, not a seat cushion. Walk away!
7. Situationships – The Land of Zero Commitment
If you’ve been “talking” or “hanging out” for months with no official title, guess what? You’re in a situationship. It’s where relationships go to die, slowly, painfully, and with a lot of mixed signals. You deserve clarity, not confusion.
8. Gaslighting – When He Makes You Doubt Your Own Reality
If he constantly makes you question your own feelings, memories, or instincts, he’s gaslighting you. Classic lines include, “You’re overreacting,” or “That never happened.” Spoiler alert: It did. Trust your gut.
9. Caspering – The ‘Nice’ Ghosting
This is when someone ghosts you but does it with a “kind” message, something like, “You’re amazing, but I just don’t think I’m ready.” They disappear, but politely. Newsflash: Ghosting with a bow on top is still ghosting.
So, What’s a Fabulous, Deserving Woman Like You Supposed to Do?
I get it. You didn’t sign up for Survivor: Dating Edition. But don’t worry, I have the perfect solution. DateSmartly is an online dating coaching program that helps widowed women spot red flags, boost confidence, and attract quality partners who actually respect you.
With one-on-one coaching, personalized advice, and real-world strategies, you’ll go from dodging losers to attracting real gentlemen who see your worth. Think of it as your dating armor in the battle of love.
Ready to date with confidence? Check out DateSmartly now and say goodbye to toxic trends for good!
Let’s Talk!
What’s the worst dating trend you’ve encountered? Drop a comment below, I promise we’ll laugh (or cry) together!