Dating after loss is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions. You think you’re doing it right, but somewhere along the way, you realize you’ve built a bookshelf when you were aiming for a nightstand. Frustrating, right?
So why does it feel like all the good men disappear faster than your motivation to go to the gym? Could it be gasp… YOU? (Don’t panic, it’s fixable!)
Let’s break down six common dating mistakes that might be unintentionally sending Prince Charming running for the hills, and, more importantly, how to stop doing them!
1. Comparing Him to Your Late Husband
We get it. Your late husband was an amazing man, and you had a beautiful history together. But constantly measuring your new guy against a past love is like expecting every meal to taste like your grandma’s homemade lasagna, it’s just not fair!
Fix It:
Instead of seeking a replacement, focus on creating new experiences. Find something unique about this person that makes you smile. And when the urge to compare strikes? Repeat after me: Different doesn’t mean worse, it just means different.
2. Playing the ‘Hard to Get’ Game Too Hard
Okay, confidence is sexy, but acting like you don’t care at all? That’s just confusing. If he’s constantly chasing you while you stay emotionally unavailable, eventually, he’ll realize he’s better off jogging… in the opposite direction.
Fix It:
Be authentic! Show interest. Send a text first. Laugh at his corny jokes. (Okay, maybe not all of them, but at least pretend the dad jokes are cute.)
3. Letting Baggage Do the Talking
Listen, you’ve been through a lot, and you deserve love again. But if every date turns into a TED Talk about why men are terrible, he’s going to assume you’re still emotionally parked in the past.
Fix It:
A little vulnerability is great, but don’t let old wounds run the show. Instead of trauma-dumping, ease into your story naturally over time. Remember: he’s looking for a partner, not a therapy session.
4. Overanalyzing Every. Single. Thing.
“He hasn’t texted back in two hours. He must be ghosting me. Or maybe he’s secretly married. Or maybe… aliens abducted him?”
Girl, RELAX.
Fix It:
Men are simple creatures. If he says, “I was busy,” he was probably just… busy. Trust actions over anxiety. And if overthinking is your kryptonite, take a deep breath and ask yourself: Would I want someone dissecting my every move like this? No? Exactly.
5. Rushing to Lock It Down
Saying “So, where is this going?” on date #2 is like bringing a wedding dress to a first date. Slow your roll, sister.
Fix It:
Enjoy the ride! Let things develop naturally. A good man will show you through his actions where the relationship is headed. If you’re constantly worried about the destination, you’ll miss the fun of the journey.
6. Ignoring the Secret Weapon That Makes Dating Way Easier
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Your Turn!
Which of these mistakes have you made in the past? Or, if you’ve mastered the dating game, what’s your best piece of advice for other widowed women looking for love again? Drop your thoughts in the comments, I’d love to hear from you!