So, you’ve re-entered the dating scene after being widowed. First of all, congratulations! It takes guts. But let’s be real, dating these days is like shopping at a thrift store. You have to dig through a lot of junk before you find a treasure.
Now, before you go scheduling that second date just because he seemed nice, let’s go over some crucial moments when you should absolutely, 100%, without a doubt say no. Because the only thing worse than a bad first date is voluntarily signing up for another round of it.
1. When He Talks About His Ex…A LOT
Yes, we get it, everyone has a past. But if he spends your entire dinner reminiscing about his amazing ex-wife or how she “did him wrong,” buckle up because you’re about to become his free therapist. And girl, you don’t have the time (or patience) for that.
2. If He “Jokes” About Women Belonging in the Kitchen
Oh, haha, very funny, Brad. Nothing is sexier than outdated gender roles and a man who still thinks it’s 1952. If he cracks a joke like this, smile politely, excuse yourself to the restroom, and ghost him like a Wi-Fi signal in the basement.
3. When He’s More Interested in His Phone Than You
If he spends the entire date texting, scrolling, or (worst of all) swiping through a dating app, he’s clearly not looking for a connection, he’s looking for entertainment. And you, my dear, are not a background character in his personal soap opera.
4. If He Calls You the Wrong Name
Twice.
Once? Maybe forgivable. Twice? Absolutely not. If he can’t remember your name, what else is he forgetting? Birthdays? Anniversaries? That he’s still married?
5. When He Asks You for Money
Unless he’s a Nigerian prince with a VERY compelling email, this is a no.
6. If His “Sense of Humor” Feels Like an Attack
“Oh wow, you actually eat carbs?” If his idea of flirting involves negging (a.k.a. low-key insults disguised as jokes), trust me, he’s not being playful. He’s just insecure and trying to make you feel the same. Hard pass.
7. When He Mentions Marriage…on Date One
I mean, sir, please slow down. If he’s already planning your future together, picking out baby names, or hinting at joint bank accounts, this man isn’t looking for love, he’s looking for a life raft. And that’s not your job.
8. If He’s Rude to Waitstaff
How someone treats a waiter says everything about how they’ll eventually treat you. If he snaps his fingers, is condescending, or leaves a zero tip, send him right back into the dating pool (without a life vest).
9. When He’s a Walking Red Flag Disguised as a “Nice Guy”
You know the type, overly charming but also weirdly bitter? The ones who say, “Women don’t appreciate good men anymore” while simultaneously proving they are not one? Exactly.
10. If Your Gut Just Says No
Listen, intuition is a superpower. If something feels off, even if you can’t quite explain why, trust that feeling. Your gut is more reliable than any dating advice article (yes, even this one).
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Now, Tell Me: What’s the Worst First Date You’ve Ever Had?
Drop your horror stories in the comments, I need the tea.